You can LICHTENBERG my balls....

The Lichtenberg Figure are the jagged branches of an electrical discharge usually through materials surrounding high voltage conduits.  But not just in electrical insulation but other places in nature.

Obviously the most common example of what it looks like are lightning bolts. But even less common are "lightning flowers" which are the markings left behind on lightning strike victims. They are caused by ruptured capillaries under the skin that branch out from the location of the strike.

Good Morning Mr. Woods... (count all the innuendoes)

The on going master debate on the mysteries of "the morning wood" rages on and may just be one of the hardest and longest curiosities of all time. The technical term however isn't "my morning glory", but in fact is called "nocturnal penile tumescence." 

There may be many theories that arise when searching for this pounding question of the male anatomy. Whatever the reason may be, there is one interesting fact that I have learned that may shed some light on the subject.  An erect penis is in fact a completely relaxed penis while a flaccid penis is actually flexing. I know that is hard to grasp.  

In a lot of other mammals, and primates, the erection is helped by the Baculum. (No, no , no... you're thinking of Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap). The baculum is an actual boner bone that allows for prolonged coitus (or banging) in these animal species.  In humans, however, there is no bone, but only three compartments filled with blood vessels. During sexual arousal they fill with blood and provides the mans wang with enough of Popeye's spinach necessary for making a stiffie. 

In order for that to happen though the muscles around the blood vessels must completely relax for the blood to be able to chub up. Afterwards the muscles flex and restrict the flow leaving nothing but a limp noodle behind. 

Because we are usually completely relaxed during our REM sleep cycle that may just be why we pitch a tent 3-5 during the night. 

Whatever the reason let us all erect our arm and give our full salute to our Marqui De Sade for all the mornings of standing tall and proud. 

TODAY IS GOONIES DAY....

28 years ago today was the debut of The Goonies. A movie that changed many peoples childhoods and has given us all dreams of finding a pirate ship or hidden treasure or pulling a fast one over on some bad guys.  

I bet no one of you know The Goonies oath though? I sure didn't because it was cut out of the film so I found it.

"I will never betray my goon dock friends / We will stick together until the whole world ends / Through heaven and hell, and nuclear war / Good pals like us, will stick like tar / In the city, or the country, or the forest, or the boonies / I am proudly declared a fellow Goony."

Another little side note is that the pirate ship was in fact not a special effect. They constructed a full sized ship for the movie. None of the cast had seen the ship until the big scene where they zipped down the water slides. It had to be re-shot because most of them ended up swearing when they first saw the ship. 

The pirate ship was offered to anyone that would take it off their hands after the movie was filmed but no one was able to take it so the ship had to be destroyed sadly.

March Madnessssss (with 18 s's at the end)

Unlike 98% of America right now, I am one of the few who does not have an NCAA Bracket filled out. I don't follow sports at all really and I hope you all forgive me for that.

BUT I am a huge geek when it comes to numbers and crap. So I was having a discussion with my room mate about the bracket and wondered if anyone had ever had a perfect prediction before. He said probably not very likely and I thought well there are so many people playing every year its bound to happen. Little did I think about the number of teams.

So I looked up the odds and almost dropped my phone when I saw the unlikely hood that you would ever get a perfect bracket predicted. Take a second to guess. I thought perhaps 1 in 5,000,000 or maybe even 1 in 50,000,000. I would have even considered 1 in 5,000,000,000. But I was so wrong.

The odds are 1 in 9.2 QUINTILLION. Thats 9 with 18  0's after it. The actual number is 9,223,372,036,854,775,808

Such A Cry Baby...

You're cutting up an onion for tonights dinner and you're crying like a baby. No matter how much you try and fight it you can't keep from crying. Don't feel too much like a baby because once you hear why you won't feel like such a wuss.

When you cut an onion you release the amino acid sulfoxides from the cells . Those mix with the sulfenic acids to produce propanethiol S-oxide, a volatile sulfur that mixes with the air and enters your eyes. This reacts with the water in your eyes to form sulfuric acid. The burning sulfuric acid causes tears that create more sulfuric acid.

My solution is I put a plastic bag over my head and pull down over my eyes. Other wise some ski goggles will work if you got them.

MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE....

Since I am going to see MUSE for the 8th time I think today I figured I'd share a fun fact about my favorite band.

After coming up with their name Muse the band came up with the title for their first song "Muscle Museum" by looking up the word Muse in the dictionary and taking the first word to come before and after and combining them.

Lead singer/lead guitarist/and pianist Matthew Belamy, holds the world record for smashing the most guitars in a single tour. 140 of them in total for the Absolution tour.

Kenny G..G..G.... G.. G.. G... G-Unittttt!

Kenny G.....Back in my middle school and high school days of playing sax I couldn't get enough of this guy. Love him or hate him (you really have no reason to hate him because the man is damn talented) you gotta just dig on that hair.  That ish is signature and so glad he has kept it and I don't see him getting rid of it ever. UNLIKE his last name.

Brace yourself. His real last name is Gorelick. Kenny Gorelick. Not quite the same ring as Kenny G. So don't blame him for shortening it.

On a side note did you know that he is Adam Levine's older brother.  Check out a side by side below and picture Adam with his hair. It's uncanny. I know you agree with me on this. (okay maybe not really brothers at all but nothings impossible)

Yipeeeeee Kai Yay Mothaaa Effers

Since Die Hard 5 "A Good Day To Die Hard" is coming out soon I thought I would share a little fact that many Die Hard fans don't know. I sure didn't. Normally I write out my facts but this time I thought I would just quote the man who wrote the article where I read it. Daniel O'Brien wrote this for www.cracked.com Click the link to read his fun thoughts on how to not screw up the latest movie.

"A Good Day to Die Hard is the first script that was written just to be a Die Hard movie. Ever. The first Die Hard was originally written as a sequel to Commando (or a sequel to The Detective, depending on which source you consult), but when Arnold dropped out, they changed it at the last minute into a Die Hard. Die Hard 2: Die Harder was originally a book called 58 Minutes about a cop named Frank Malone who probably never even Die Harded a little bit. Die Hard With a Vengeance was originally supposed to be Lethal Weapon 4, but that also changed at the last minute, probably because turning Danny Glover's "too old for this shit" good cop into a "too racist for this shit" lunatic upset the buddy cop dynamic established in the first three. Finally, Live Free or Die Hard was originally called WW3.com, and it was based on a Wired article. About hacking. No one has ever started a movie with the intention of writing a Die Hard. Good Die Hard scripts are like McClane himself; they're the right script in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Bored?? Why not just hold your breath as long as you can.

Got 22 minutes to spare and want to kill some time? Try holding your breath. If you can do it for 22 minutes and 01 seconds then you have officially beaten the world record for holding ones breath under water. That's right. I am not making this up... TWENTY TWOOOOOO FRICKING MINUTES!!!!!

Stig Severninsen of Denmark broke his last record  of 20 minutes 10 seconds by dropping his heart rate down to 30bpm while submerged in 30 degree water.