Friday, August 9, 2013

Good Morning Mr. Woods... (count all the innuendoes)

The on going master debate on the mysteries of "the morning wood" rages on and may just be one of the hardest and longest curiosities of all time. The technical term however isn't "my morning glory", but in fact is called "nocturnal penile tumescence." 

There may be many theories that arise when searching for this pounding question of the male anatomy. Whatever the reason may be, there is one interesting fact that I have learned that may shed some light on the subject.  An erect penis is in fact a completely relaxed penis while a flaccid penis is actually flexing. I know that is hard to grasp.  

In a lot of other mammals, and primates, the erection is helped by the Baculum. (No, no , no... you're thinking of Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap). The baculum is an actual boner bone that allows for prolonged coitus (or banging) in these animal species.  In humans, however, there is no bone, but only three compartments filled with blood vessels. During sexual arousal they fill with blood and provides the mans wang with enough of Popeye's spinach necessary for making a stiffie. 

In order for that to happen though the muscles around the blood vessels must completely relax for the blood to be able to chub up. Afterwards the muscles flex and restrict the flow leaving nothing but a limp noodle behind. 

Because we are usually completely relaxed during our REM sleep cycle that may just be why we pitch a tent 3-5 during the night. 

Whatever the reason let us all erect our arm and give our full salute to our Marqui De Sade for all the mornings of standing tall and proud.